I think we are on the same page. Our interest in mindfulness helps I'm sure. A psychotherapist colleague from years ago would have clients who would say they just wanted to be happy. His response would be to ask them why they thought they should be happy. It stumped them! Happiness is a changeable thing as you rightly say. I think that some people are more able to experience happiness but it is often found in simple things. A kind deed, a shoulder to cry on helping others problem solve, an enjoyable conversation I'm happier that I used to be because I simplified life. I also have a tendency to reminisce about the past with happy memories/fantasies. With the world in such turmoil, we all need to find moments that take us away from the major stresses in the World today
Very interesting, thanks for sharing your thought process here.
It is especially interesting to me because I have a really hard time with what you describe, enjoying just being. I enjoy doing, interacting with the world, and find I can lose myself that way much more effectively. I do enjoy a bit of a sit, especially in the quiet evening when I can watch animals and the like, but I can't do it long without getting a little twitchy.
Even when doing something, if it is something that I have done enough that there is nothing to overcome I can't really enjoy it. It is fun while it is slightly difficult, and importantly those difficulties must be solvable via effort, but once it is routine it just doesn't do it for me.
Sorry to hear about your job loss. This have been pretty rough all over, some industries a lot more than others, and I hope things straighten out for you soon.
Smoke weed about it. The list of things that you do to produce happiness is very similar to what I do: Climb to a vista, go swimming in a wild space that I had to hike to, read a good book, cook and eat good food w/ a cocktail, cook a fish that I caught and eat it, see live music... What I do to be the happiest is smoke weed and sing my own songs that no one else knows. One of my favorite authors is Jennifer Micheal Hecht. Her book The Happiness Myth (2007) is my favorite prose work by her. I came here from a recommendation of another Substack, but I can't remember who it was. This was an interesting read, thanks.
Thank you for this essay. My experiences, although few and far between, is that your description is essentially the same as mine. Good stuff to see in writing.
Very interesting read, and certainly something that resonates with recent experience and thoughts (my latest LinkedIn post is very much on the same wavelength, though the origin of the thinking is very different). From a language teacher's point of view, I can tell you I was always very surprised (and not in a good way) when talking to British kids about verbs they couldn't recognise "to be" as a verb. The explanation I was given is that the definition kids are given of a verb these days is an "action word", and as they don't consider "being" as an action, they can't recognise "I am" as a verb. I was always rather uncomfortable with this logic - language shapes minds, and a mind that cannot recognise being as an activity or an intention is well on track for chronic dissatisfaction.
Hey Mike :) I subscribed to you this week because I recently downloaded Substack for “internet princess” aka Rayne Fisher Quann. She inspires me so much with her writing that I read all her entries and then became ravenous for more. That’s where you come in :) I’m pretty sure you were high on the recommendations list for “culture”.
Any way, I appreciate you turning the comments on, as I too have been frustrated by not being able to contribute to the MANY posts I’ve been consuming. (I’m also pretty sure I’m hoping to read read read so I can actually maybe someday find it in me to write write write)
This post struck me deeply because just yesterday I was writing about meditation and being and I wrote: “In those moments I just know in my knowing that I am the flowers, I am the trees, and so are you, and all the life and everything-ness all around us is the knowing and in those moments I am everything and nothing and happy.” So I cried when you wrote “I am the meadow” because I am the meadow, too.
I once asked my father, what made him happy? He replied that he didn't want pursue happiness, he wanted to find contentment. As I was in my 20's I couldn't understand this, wondering why he didn't want to be happy. Now that I am older I think I understand what he meant. Happiness is more of a transient state, where as contentedness has a greater longevity. I agree with what you say.
A favorite Zippy quote- are we having fun yet. For me, as for many, actively enjoying doing something, like walk, or a game, or a good talk, where I think about the action, makes me feel, later, that I was happy. The after action glow is a bit different, feeling content and comfy for awhile.
Are we having fun yet is the motto/admonition of Zippy the Pinhead who also pokes fun at all of our dreadful happiness suppressing certainties http://www.zippythepinhead.com
Meanwhile The Bright Teacher of Happiness made this admonition - "Always remember that your inherent heart-disposition wants and needs Infinite, Absolute, True, Eternal Happiness".
He also tells us that "Happiness is the now-and-forever Mystery that IS the Real Heart and the Only Real God of every one"
I think we are on the same page. Our interest in mindfulness helps I'm sure. A psychotherapist colleague from years ago would have clients who would say they just wanted to be happy. His response would be to ask them why they thought they should be happy. It stumped them! Happiness is a changeable thing as you rightly say. I think that some people are more able to experience happiness but it is often found in simple things. A kind deed, a shoulder to cry on helping others problem solve, an enjoyable conversation I'm happier that I used to be because I simplified life. I also have a tendency to reminisce about the past with happy memories/fantasies. With the world in such turmoil, we all need to find moments that take us away from the major stresses in the World today
Very interesting, thanks for sharing your thought process here.
It is especially interesting to me because I have a really hard time with what you describe, enjoying just being. I enjoy doing, interacting with the world, and find I can lose myself that way much more effectively. I do enjoy a bit of a sit, especially in the quiet evening when I can watch animals and the like, but I can't do it long without getting a little twitchy.
Even when doing something, if it is something that I have done enough that there is nothing to overcome I can't really enjoy it. It is fun while it is slightly difficult, and importantly those difficulties must be solvable via effort, but once it is routine it just doesn't do it for me.
Sorry to hear about your job loss. This have been pretty rough all over, some industries a lot more than others, and I hope things straighten out for you soon.
Smoke weed about it. The list of things that you do to produce happiness is very similar to what I do: Climb to a vista, go swimming in a wild space that I had to hike to, read a good book, cook and eat good food w/ a cocktail, cook a fish that I caught and eat it, see live music... What I do to be the happiest is smoke weed and sing my own songs that no one else knows. One of my favorite authors is Jennifer Micheal Hecht. Her book The Happiness Myth (2007) is my favorite prose work by her. I came here from a recommendation of another Substack, but I can't remember who it was. This was an interesting read, thanks.
Thank you for this essay. My experiences, although few and far between, is that your description is essentially the same as mine. Good stuff to see in writing.
Very interesting read, and certainly something that resonates with recent experience and thoughts (my latest LinkedIn post is very much on the same wavelength, though the origin of the thinking is very different). From a language teacher's point of view, I can tell you I was always very surprised (and not in a good way) when talking to British kids about verbs they couldn't recognise "to be" as a verb. The explanation I was given is that the definition kids are given of a verb these days is an "action word", and as they don't consider "being" as an action, they can't recognise "I am" as a verb. I was always rather uncomfortable with this logic - language shapes minds, and a mind that cannot recognise being as an activity or an intention is well on track for chronic dissatisfaction.
Hey Mike :) I subscribed to you this week because I recently downloaded Substack for “internet princess” aka Rayne Fisher Quann. She inspires me so much with her writing that I read all her entries and then became ravenous for more. That’s where you come in :) I’m pretty sure you were high on the recommendations list for “culture”.
Any way, I appreciate you turning the comments on, as I too have been frustrated by not being able to contribute to the MANY posts I’ve been consuming. (I’m also pretty sure I’m hoping to read read read so I can actually maybe someday find it in me to write write write)
This post struck me deeply because just yesterday I was writing about meditation and being and I wrote: “In those moments I just know in my knowing that I am the flowers, I am the trees, and so are you, and all the life and everything-ness all around us is the knowing and in those moments I am everything and nothing and happy.” So I cried when you wrote “I am the meadow” because I am the meadow, too.
I once asked my father, what made him happy? He replied that he didn't want pursue happiness, he wanted to find contentment. As I was in my 20's I couldn't understand this, wondering why he didn't want to be happy. Now that I am older I think I understand what he meant. Happiness is more of a transient state, where as contentedness has a greater longevity. I agree with what you say.
A favorite Zippy quote- are we having fun yet. For me, as for many, actively enjoying doing something, like walk, or a game, or a good talk, where I think about the action, makes me feel, later, that I was happy. The after action glow is a bit different, feeling content and comfy for awhile.
Are we having fun yet is the motto/admonition of Zippy the Pinhead who also pokes fun at all of our dreadful happiness suppressing certainties http://www.zippythepinhead.com
Meanwhile The Bright Teacher of Happiness made this admonition - "Always remember that your inherent heart-disposition wants and needs Infinite, Absolute, True, Eternal Happiness".
He also tells us that "Happiness is the now-and-forever Mystery that IS the Real Heart and the Only Real God of every one"
And wrote a beautiful book for children of all ages on how to incarnate such Happiness. http://www.beezones.com/beezones-main-stack/wwwhwwc.html